Recently I had a few thoughts about the so much more parts of the uncomfortable things and when it guides across the threshold of suffering’s gate. This isn’t an exhaustive post, just simply an exploration of a few thoughts. All the while they, the thoughts, did take me deeper (no surprise) and that depth left me with so much more, more than I can articulate into words, yet.
Suffering, which is unarguably, among other feelings, uncomfortable, is self measured. Think about when you have experienced suffering? It is you who determines when the uncomfortable thing becomes suffering and it is you, once though the gate and squarely upon suffering’s property, who decides its level of intensity.
Because I’m going through a deeply painful and uncomfortable time and wondering if it be considered, in my defining terms, as suffering, I ventured back to previous suffering experiences. One event of course, was the suffering of being run over and all the attached resulting sufferings it has caused. Jeff’s crossing is another experience I measure as an intense suffering event. Both of these experiences were, and at times continue to be, physical suffering as well as emotional and spiritual suffering.
Others came to mind too, events that is, self measured as crossing suffering’s gate, though not as intense as the two fore mentioned, they too have established a residency, a garden plot of sorts, within suffering’s domain. Yes, I also determined, suffering is what I’m experiencing in this current event. Acknowledging this is healthy and note worthy but it isn’t the profound thought which came to me regarding suffering.
While wandering the gardens of past suffering experiences, I looked for commonalities within them. Interestingly and surprisingly, most common and congruent with suffering was love, that’s right LOVE. Not only was love present in those suffering events but though the suffering love became so much more.
Even more interesting, part of that so much more, is suffering’s love is very much alive. Like any life, how it flourishes is dependent on how it is nourished and attended. The life and growth of suffering’s love was and remains dependent on how I choose to nourish and tend it. This gives way to deeper thoughts (again, no surprise) and it blows my mind that over the years I’ve completely missed making this connection. A connection not only evident in my own suffering experiences including great loss and death but in the process of pregnancy, labor, child birth. It is evident in the often unexplored sacred feminine and a deeper, more personal exploration of Christ consciousness.
I don’t advocate seeking out uncomfortable events, events in which the uncomfortableness takes our hand and leads us through suffering’s gate. But, if it so happens we cross that threshold, may we not shrink or run and hide in misery’s woe but allow our tears to water the garden plot suffering offers. May we feel the pain and endure the arduousness of tending this plot, trusting that out of suffering divine love is birthed, a tiny life bursting forth waiting to be nourished, ready to flourish, eternally. And one day we may bravely go through suffering’s gate simply to view the beauty, life, and love of the so much more parts of the uncomfortable things in our lives.